Tuesday, October 6, 2015

New Blog

I've moved over to WordPress. Feel free to check it out!!  www.fatnfrank.com

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Critters

We saw several critters out West. Mule deer, elk, prairie dogs, chipmunks, big horned sheep. 



Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Monday, September 28, 2015

Vacay

Colorado, South Dakota, Nebraska. 
#1 Chimney Rock NE
#2 Mt Rushmore SD
#3 Crazy Horse Memorial SD
#4 The Badlands SD



Friday, September 25, 2015

Wheehee!!!

I am officially on vacation.  For twelve whole days. We are getting ready to head to Colorado and South Dakota and I can't wait. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Doctor

Yesterday Fatty Fatty Boombalatty had a check up at the vet's office.  September is "Senior Pet Month" and they had a special for all kinds of tests.  Diabetes, anemia, thyroid, liver and kidney function.  Fatty was due, so he got to go.  He did not thank me for it.

All in all he is doing very well.   He's down to 13.5 pounds, which is a little concerning.  All of his bloodwork came back normal, so hopefully his weight loss is just due to increased activty.  "Increased activity" being Frankie.  Frankie is on him all the time.  All the time. To say Fats is more active than he used to be is an understatement.

Saturday

Not much going on around here.  Saturday I found a recipe for a DIY hair mask.  Bananas, avocados, eggs, mayo, and castor oil.  It did not smell good.

Just another exciting night in Clay County.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Kim

I have been following the Kim Davis drama like it's my job.  I find the whole situation fascinating.  She's a county clerk who issues marriage licenses, but she doesn't believe in gay marriage because marriage is a sacred bond, but she's been married four times, yada yada yada.  It's riveting.  The core issue, as I see it, is not the change in the laws that gives gays the ability to marry.  It is not the moral implications of allowing gays and lesbians the same right as straight couples. The core issue is her outright refusal to perform the job for which she was elected. 

I'm not about to get into whether or not gays should have the right to marry.  Everyone has their own opinion, and they are entitled to it.  The same holds true for Kim Davis.   She is categorically opposed to gay marriage, as dictated by her religion, which is absolutely fine.  She is well within her rights to believe that.  It is not okay, however, for her to refuse to do her job.  Gays have the right to get married now.  It is the law.  Her beliefs do not supersede the law, even if she believes the laws are morally and fundamentally wrong.  It is the law.   

I do feel a tiny bit sorry for her, as it was not law when she was elected.  There was no conflict for her, as gays did not have the right to marry.  In a sense, the government has changed horses in the middle of the race.  They changed the rules in the middle of the game.  She had no way of knowing, when she was first elected, of what was to come.  Be that as it may, the law changed, and she needs to change with it.  Believe what she will, but serve the residents of the county she was elected to serve. 

What I find most interesting is the fact that she is asking the courts to uphold her rights, while denying others theirs.  It simply does not work that way, although I do give her props for trying. She believes she is right, so the court should validate her beliefs.  But what about rights of the couples who have been denied a license?  She wants the courts to deny them theirs.  When you get right down to it, it doesn't matter.  She is basically throwing up a middle finger to the courts, the government, her constituents.  She isn't doing her job. 

The world would be such a wonderful place if everyone would just mind their own business.  I'll decide what's right for me.  You decide what's right for you.  I'm not saying Kim Davis is wrong for her views.  I'm not saying she's right.  But I am saying she should perform the job she was elected to do, and leave her religion at home. 

Payday!


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Buttholes

Today I feel the need to talk about buttholes.  Big, flaming buttholes.  Mom and I have upped our hikes, five and six a week now.  It's still tough but I can tell I'm getting stronger and faster.  And, now that it's cooling off, it doesn't suck quite so hard.  Well, about a month ago, we're clipping along and someone had thrown three cleaned catfish onto the hiking trail.  It was disgusting.  They were big catfish to start with and they made big dead gross catfish.  So I get a stick and poke them off into the brush.  I don't want to look at them. 

Two days ago, we're back on the trail and we came upon an elderly couple, 70's anyway.  The gentleman, who from now on will be referred to as Flaming Butthole, had caught two fish.  The little one was maybe a foot long, a decent sized catfish.  The other was the biggest catfish I'd ever seen.  I know they get a lot bigger, but it looked huge to me.  Flaming Butthole's wife waved at me and I waved back.  Mom said something about what a nice catch he had.  He smiles and walks towards a picnic table, presumably to clean his fish.  (Side note:: don't eat on a public picnic table)

Well, we're on our way back, passing the same area where we'd seen the Flaming Butthole, and he had thrown his fish right in the middle of my hiking trail.  Again.  They are huge fish.  I asked a coworker guy about it and he said that they had been filleted.  I have no idea.  It looked like he'd just skinned part of them and then tossed them. 

Why would he do that?  My coworker guy said most fishermen either clean their fish at home, or throw what's left over into the lake for the turtles to eat.  Or whatever.  So I think, well maybe he's doing the same thing, just throwing the fish to the raccoons.  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.  If that's the case, toss that disgusting thing in the woods!  He knew there were hikers in the woods.  He had just seen us, literally ten minutes before. 

This is southern Illinois, so we don't have grizzlies or wolves, but we do have bobcats and cougars (according to legend, anyway).  I really don't want them drawn to my hiking trail because there is a source of food there.  Even if it's just a raccoon.  Don't care to fight a raccoon. 

I took a picture of the fish that Flaming Butthole threw onto my hiking trail.  It's down at the bottom.  If you don't want to look at it, "x" out now.  If you do, keep scrolling.  You have been warned.








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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Alice

My grandma lives in a nursing home, in the Alzheimer's unit.  The residents on that side are a little better of physically, but their minds are long gone.  On one hand, it's really depressing, if you think about it too much.  But on the other, it's fascinating.  It's easy to see how these residents really identify with themselves.  My grandma was a business woman, and she still is.  She is clearly the boss lady in the lunch room:)  One man was a mechanic in his youth and the nurses will find him under the tables tinkering on, what he believes to be, a car.

One lady named Alice, is very clearly a mother.  She was a homemaker when she was young and being a mother was her career.  She has a doll that she carries everywhere and she believes, with every ounce of her being, that this doll is her child.  Her baby.  She nurses it, burps it, puts it down for naps.  It's endearing, but incredibly sad at the same time.

Earlier today, Alice was in a state because she didn't have any socks for her baby and the baby's feet were getting cold.  She was beside herself.  She had put the baby down on the table and was frantically trying to cover it's feet.  Mom felt terrible for Alice because that doll isn't just a doll, it's her child.  And her child's feet were cold.

So off to the store we went, to get some tiny baby socks.  She found a two pack of socks for  $1.88 and went flying back to The Gardens to give them to Alice.  She had to have some help as she has lost the dexterity to put tiny socks on a doll, but she was so grateful to have them.  Mom said you could tell she felt so much better now that she had some socks.   It was $1.88 well spent. 

Friday, September 11, 2015

Coffee

We have a new coffee place in town--BlogCabin.Coffee.  It's awesome.  It's just a tiny little cabin, drive thru only.  I usually get the coffee of the day.  Today's was Jamaican-me-crazy.  Cookie doodle is the best because it has just a hint of cinnamon, like a snickerdoodle.  I've also had sticky bun coffee and it was delicious.  My mammy got a protein shake, which is made with seaweed, of all things.  It was really good, though.  It comes with a list of all the foods one would have to eat to equal the nutritional content of the shake. 

My friend got a mango peach strawberry smoothie and it was to die for.  This is a big deal for our tiny, little berg.  We hardly ever get cool things here.  We're moving right up--all Starbucky and whatnot. 

I get my coffee before I go to work and I walk in just like those city people I've seen on the picture box:)

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Haps

It's been so busy at work.  The last week or so has been unreal.  We're just finishing an unseasonable heat wave and it's made people go off their collective nuts.  Fights, domestics, kids acting up.  Ugh.  I'm excited, though, because fall is upon us and cooler weather brings cooler tempers and slower days.  Yay for fall!!!

I got a new bracelet.  The little chubby girl is Venus of Willendorf.  She is my all time favorite piece of art.  I had a life sized replica that I had shipped from England, but I think the cleaning lady broke it.  I loved it.  The lady that made it used the same techniques that they would have used 25,000 years ago, when the original Venus of Willendorf was fired.  Someday I hope to visit the museum in Vienna, Austria and see the original. 

We made zoodles the other night--zucchini noodles.  It was actually pretty good.  We used zoodles, bell peppers and shrimp.  It turned out like stir fry but it was really tasty.  I think next time we'll try zoodles like spaghetti. 

My friend, Emily, is taking online classes to get her Bachelor's degree.  She's in finite math right now and I must tip my hat to her.  I would have bailed long ago.  I don't understand math at....all.  She showed me some of her homework and it looked like gibberish.  I have literally NO idea what she was doing and just the thought of math made my chest hurt so I had to quit "helping".  This is what math looks like to me:

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Whaaaaa?

It's September. I shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. I feel betrayed.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Suicide

I read an article yesterday that just made me ill.  A seventeen year old girl is being charged with manslaughter for actively encouraging her boyfriend to commit suicide.  He had suffered from depression for some time and, instead of pushing him to seek treatment, she bullied him into killing himself.  He filled his car with carbon monoxide in a KMart parking lot. 

There are no words to describe what I feel for this girl.  Her behavior is beyond psychopathy.  It's evil.  She is the embodiment of evil.  The article contains text messages between the two; text messages that she begged her friend to delete because she knew she's be in trouble if the authorities found them.  She knew what she did.

If I were that poor boy's mother, I'm certain I'd kill her and be proud to confess.  He needed help.  Unfortunately for him, he reached out to the wrong person.  At one point, he leaves his carbon monoxide filled car because he was scared and she told him to get back in.  I can't begin to wrap my head around that. 

Here is the article.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Keens

Mammy and I are doing really well on our hikes.  I can tell we're getting stronger and faster.  We still suck, for the most part, but we're getting there.  Our Keens are one of the main reasons we're doing so well.  I love my Keens.  Those poor boots have a LOT of miles on them.  I've slopped around in mud, snow, rain and they still feel like new. 

The hiking trails at Sam Dale are just cleared out paths through the woods.  There are tree roots, branches, and rocks everywhere.  If not for my beloved Keens, we'd never be able to do it.  No way could you hike through there in tennis shoes. 


We got ours from LL Bean.  Get some Keens. For reals, yo. 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Alaska

My parents' fortieth anniversary is in January.  To celebrate, they decided to take an Alaskan cruise.  It won't be until May because, unsurprisingly, there aren't any cruises to Alaska in the dead of winter as it would be a bit nippy.  I was super jealous and asked if I could go.  "No.  It's not your anniversary."  "Don't they have a family pass or something."  "No."  "Well, what if you die before May?  Can I have your ticket?"  "No."  Well, I guess I stuck out the bottom lip and gave them the puppy dog eyes enough that they decided to check into how much a ticket for me would cost.  Parents are so ridiculous. 

They stopped by the travel agency and asked.  The travel agent called the cruise line and asked and, miracle of all miracles, during the month of August they were running a special and the third passenger sails free.  For FREE.  (Technically $250 because of taxes.  Always have to pay the taxes.)

Next May, I am going to Alaska!!!  I never never in a million years ever thought that I'd get to see Alaska.  We don't have a fancy room.  I think ours is actually down in the bilge next to the boiler room but, whatever, I'm on an Alaskan cruise.


We're sailing on Norwegian Cruise Line and we'll be on the Norwegian Pearl.  I am so excited I might poop.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Money

My shadow box is coming along nicely.  There are some twenties in there!!

I am so proud of myself.  Today we hiked TWICE.  Like, in a row. We made one trip to the end and turned around and did it again.  That's four miles of difficult terrain.  It's the best I've ever done and I am still feeling it.  By the time we got back to the car, my legs were done.  Stick a fork in 'em cause they are done. 

I'm trying so so very hard to get in shape for Great Britain.  I know, I know.  I need to do it for my health *sigh*, but honestly it's for England.  And the cute clothes.  We're riding Clydesdales when we get there and I really do not want to have to strap two of the things together to be able to ride:)  So I'm saving all I can and I'm busting my butt to get in shape.  Come hell or high water, I am going to Great Britain and I am going to ride a Clydesdale. 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Piano

My uncle was recently cleaning out an Oddfellows Lodge and they had a piano they were giving away.  I played for several years when I was young, so he gave it to me.  It's really nice.  Much nicer than I was anticipating.

I was actually pretty good, but it's been so long that I've forgotten everything I'd learned.  I hope it comes back fairly easily.  I have two books, one on techniques and another with classical pieces for adult beginners.  I like them both.  They're for adults, not children.  There are pieces by Bach, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Handel amongst others.  They're just dumbed down versions with ninety percent of the notes removed.  Still, I'd rather relearn with "Turca Alla Rondo" rather than "Mr Turtle Goes Slow."  I'm not six anymore. 

My Grandma's favorite song is "Goodbye World Goodbye".  It's sort of a ragtimey gospel song.  My piano teacher played it once at a recital and I was just awestruck.  It was the most impressive thing I'd ever seen.  I'm going to try to learn it and play it for my Grandma, but she's ninety two, for crying out loud.  Time's a factor. 

When I was little, my mom used to make me play for the old people at the nursing homes, usually around Christmastime.  Character building, she said.  Traumatizing, I say.  I hated every minute of it.  They'd all hover around me and pet my head.  Now that I'm older, I think I can handle it better.  As long as they don't pet my head.
 
 

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Brudder

Today is my brudder's birthday.  I remember when he came home from the hospital.  It was a sad day.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Slug

I stepped on a slug last night. It's just as bad as you might imagine.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Horseflies

Horseflies.  Why are there so many horseflies?  Is it the apocalypse already?

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Python

At work, I just never know who I'll be dealing with.  Yesterday, it was a python.  Apparently, he (or she) did a runner from his cage and took off.  As fast as a python can, anyway.  I took a couple of calls on him, stretched across a road.  We think it's an adult ball python.


Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Tuesday

Hikes and walks have been absolutely beastly as of late.  High temps, higher humidity.  We went for a hike the other day and saw this cool spider web:

I love to learn things, and I've learned something about spider webs.  Apparently, spider webs are spun between 5' and 5'10" off the ground.  I know this because I'm 5'10" and I find all the spider webs with my face.  It's impossible to see the stupid things and I walk right into them.  I always feel bad because the poor fellers worked really hard on those.  I don't want to tear them up so if they could put their webs just a little higher we'd all be happy.

I'm trying to cut down on artificial sweetener and diet sodas.  I've limited myself to one a day, and so far I'm going pretty good.  My new thing is lemon water with natural sweetener.  I don't like anything sour so it's really just water with a tiny hint of lemon.  Lemon is supposed to be good for you, all kinds of benefits.  This is how I spent my morning:

An absolute must for hiking---Injinji socks.  They're toe socks, which is a little weird, I admit.  Some of my toes rub together and I get terrible blisters.  These socks are a godsend.  They're wool but they're not too hot and, best of all, my toes don't rub together.  They're kind of pricey, which is the only downside.  Fifteen dollars a pair, but well worth it.


I was folding laundry this morning and the cats were "helping", as they always do.  I was playing with them and I threw a sock at Fats.  He clapped his paws together and caught my sock in midair.  I cheered for him and was thinking "Yo!  My cat's a genius, yo!!!"  So I threw another sock at him and this time it landed right across his eyes like a blindfold.  He made absolutely no attempt to catch it or even knock it off of his face.  So, I guess he's not a genius.  Just a bog standard cat:)

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Shadowboxes

Check out my new most coolest thing ever:

It's a shadow box I got from Hobby Lobby.  I put a picture of what I want mostest in the world, cut a coin slot in the top and use it to save money.  I'm so excited about it.  Now, I know that a shadowbox isn't big enough to hold enough money for a European vacation, but it will hold enough for spending money.  I have one for England ( Cotswolds ) and one for Scotland ( Loch Ness ).



Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Happenings

I finally got a whole two days off work.  New girl is all trained up and on her own so I got a weekend.  First one since April.  I'd like to give thanks to the god of all things good and pure because it was awesome.  I did nothing and it was awesome.

Sunday Mom and I took a ride to Fat Dad's and got a rainbow Diet Coke.  It is so good.  If you're ever in my neck of the woods you absolutely have to go to Fat Dad's.  Totally worth it.

Not much to look at, but their drinks are amazing!

If you ever wanted to know what Illinois looks like---this is it:\

Wind blown hair and Fat Dad's deliciousness

Baby Frank, God bless him, made me two super useful travel combs from the one useless full sized comb I had.  I loved that comb.  It's wood and hands down the best comb I've ever had.  Now it's broken and I'm sad.


Someone at work got a new truck.  I looked up on the monitor and it appeared that there were about half a dozen officers rubbing their wieners on it.  Men are ridiculous.