Day 1

Today started in Asheville, NC. Pretty country round them parts. We took a tour of Biltmore Estate, which has over 178,000 square feet. Now, I know I'm not that good at math, but those are the correct numbers. Four acres of living space under the roof. It's huge. Photography isn't allowed inside (they want you to buy the $20 book) so I don't have any pictures. Normally I'd just take some anyway, but there were tour guides everywhere and they looked like they'd cut you open if you even tried. They have manicured grounds and a huge greenhouse. Both are Impressive.  FYI, the three mile drive to the house is the best part. It's probably the prettiest drive I've ever seen.

The house itself is almost obscene, really. It is so over the top. Just one big "up yours" by the Vanderbilt's. A way for them show how much money they have. It is pretty, though.

Vacation!!

I'm going on vacation!  Whee hee!!!

Just remember that old saying, Shawn. "Take good care of my boys or I'll kill you!"

Kittens

Mom and I were at the park the other day, when we noticed a kitten curled up in a pile of leaves.  A little orange and white kitten, just lying out in the open.  I wanted to make sure he was okay, so I walked over to him and he just jumped up and started purring and rubbing against my legs.  He was tame, which meant he'd most likely been dumped there.  He was filthy and way too thin.  It was evident that he'd been there for some time.  Poor feller.

Mom said we'd call our local shelter when we got home to see of someone could pick him up.  I already have one cat too many so there's no way I could keep him. So I cried all the way home, worrying about the little kitty. 

We got ahold of a lady who said if we could pick him up, she'd meet us at the shelter.  So I got my carrier and a blanket.  He was starving so I grabbed some dry food and microwaved some canned food (don't judge) and water.  We went back out to the park and he was right where we left him.  Just curled in a little ball on some leaves.  I put him in the carrier and little fella started chowing down.  He was so hungry it made me hurt. 

Well, right as we were leaving, I happened to look up and, out of the fencerow, came his brother.  Shit.  The deal was for one cat, not two, but there was no way I was leaving the second one.  In the carrier he went.

I got them dropped off at the shelter and the lady said they appeared to be healthy, for the most part.  Just thin and dirty.  Nothing some food and a bath couldn't fix. 

They're sweet little kittens and I hope they find a nice family.  They're going to be good cats.

I LOVE CATS!!!

Happy Birthday, Frankie!!

Yesterday was Baby Frank's first birthday-ish.  When I first got him I took him to the vet for a checkup.  It was Oct 21st and they said he was about six months old, so they put his birthday down as April 21st.  Close enough.  That Frankie is a live wire.  Holy smokes, he has a lot of energy.  He makes me laugh every day, with his somersaults off the couch and Formula 1 racing through the house.  He's a hoot.  I don't regret for a minute stealing him from the neighbors.  He needed stealing.  I'd do it again in a minute.  Fatty, poor Fatty wishes he'd go away.  They are friends now, of sorts, but he wouldn't shed many tears if Frankie were to go away.  They'll lick and clean each other, but then Frankie bites Fatty's feet and ruins it.  Every time.

Frankie's likes:
** The toilet.  Boy LOVES the toilet.  He's fascinated by it.
** The shower and sink.  He's entranced by water.  He could sit for hours and watch the shower or sink run. 
** Hair ties, still.  I swept the house for hair ties, but I'm still finding them in my shoes, the toilet, the water bowl.  I don't know where he gets them.
** Food.  He's starting to get quite a little belly. 
** Fatty.  Every though it isn't quite reciprocated, Frankie loves Fatty.  He loves to torment him, chase him, just annoy the hell out of him.

Frankie's dislikes:
None.  He loves everything.  He's cool with it all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRANKIE!!!

Playing with his birthday presents

 

Guns & Ammo

Look at that concentration.  Don't look at the safety glasses on top of  my head.  Whoops.

Over the weekend, I did something I thought I would never ever not ever do.  I took a gun class.  It was actually a Concealed Carry class, and Mammy and Pappy went with me. It was all day Saturday and Sunday, for a total of sixteen hours.  Our Chief and Asst Chief own a firearms training and consulting business and they teach the classes.  They may not know much about anything else, but they know guns. 

I'm not a gun person, per se. I have nothing against them, I've just never been around them.  No one in my family hunts or collects guns.  I've picked up a lot of knowledge at the police department, but the officers never have their guns out, so it's not like I see or handle them all the time.  I've always thought target or clay pigeon shooting looked fun.  Would I ever shoot another person?  Maybe.  I don't know.  Hopefully, I will never have the occasion to find out. 

The first day of class was pretty dry, if you're already familiar with guns.  I am not, so I thought it was interesting.  I know you squeeze the trigger to make it go boom and I know which end the bullet comes out, but that's about it.  The first day was all about gun components, mechanism and safety safety safety.  All about safety. 

The second day was way funner.  Different scenarios with CCTV and news clips.  WAs it a good shoot or a bad shoot?  We watched clips of actual civilian shootings (no one's head exploded or anything.  It wasn't gross) and then we went to the range.  Each person shot about 70 rounds or so and then we had our State test.  Ten rounds each from five, seven and ten yards.  We had to get twenty one out of thirty.  No problem.

There were two hunters and one military guy there and it was clear that this was not the first time they'd picked up a gun.  Their targets looked like they threw an apple through it.  Just completely blew a hole in the center.  The rest of us passed, although, not as well.  It was fun, and certainly something I'd never done before.  I'd highly recommend a class for anyone that's afraid of guns.  They're a lot less scary at the end. 

Instructor John

First time she's ever held a gun

Mammy getting a lesson from Instructor Guye

Dad hasn't handled a gun since Vietnam

This is military guy's target.  Notice the hole in the center.

This was my target.  Not too awful bad for a noob.

Mani

9-1-1 Don'ts

There aren't a lot of "don'ts".  If a person has reason to call 9-1-1, something has happened that is likely beyond his control.  We all have little pet peeves ( mine is asking me how I'm doing. Do you really care?  I'm busy and I don't have time to tell you how I'm doing and I'm not going to ask how you're doing.  My last day at work, every person who asks me how I'm doing is going to get a minute by minute rundown of my entire day ), but there are a few situations that send us over the edge.  They are as follows:

Don't let your kid play with a cell phone.  I cannot stress this one enough.  Do not let kids play with cell phones.  Phones will call 9-1-1 even if it wasn't dialed.  All they have to do is mash the  keypad or press random buttons and it will roll over to 9-1-1.  It's a safety feature.  We have to trace the call, call the number back and then send an officer to verify that everything is okay.  It takes a lot of time.  Time that is better spent somewhere else.  Even a phone that has been disconnected can still dial 9-1-1.  It's called a non-initiated call and they are a pain in the ass. A non-initiated call has no phone number attached to it, so we have no way to call back.  And no way to stop the calls.  Some kids get ahold of a phone and make hundreds of calls.  One right after another.  It has happened in my office and it is a nightmare.  We have no way to stop it.  I was in the middle of a hot call once, giving CPR instructions to someone whose parent had just collapsed, when I received another 9-1-1 call.  I had to stop giving CPR instructions to answer the other call and it was a kid playing with a cell phone.  FYI, we don't think it's cute when you kid calls 9-1-1.  Some parents are mortified but some think it's just the cutest.  "Did him's call the powice?  Did him's call the powice????  Who's a widdle twoublemaker?  Him's a widdle twoublemaker!"  Oh, my god.  If I could reach through the phone and tear her head off, I'd do it.  And I wouldn't even feel bad about it.  I know your kid is adorable, but please don't let him play with the phone.  If he absolutely has to do it, take the battery out.

Don't call the police to see if there is weather coming.  We live in a small town, so our peeps call us with all sorts of questions, most of which are not law enforcement related.  It's one of the perks of living in a small town.  However, if the weather is getting ready to turn nasty, please don't call the police.  Nowadays, we all have TV, radio, internet, smart phones.  Look out the window.  If the weather is getting ready to turn, we're getting ready to get busy.  If you hear a tornado siren, don't call to ask if that was the tornado siren.  You know it was.  It's not that we just don't want to talk to you.  If the sirens go off, our day sucks.  Please take pity on us.

Those are the two big problems we have.  I'm sure every agency has their own beef, but this is what makes us go sideways.  Each dispatcher is different, too, with their pet peeves.  My most hated calls are reckless drivers.  There aren't words for how much I despise reckless driver calls.  During my tenure, I've taken hundreds of them.  I think two turned out to be legit.  For the most part, drivers are just a little distracted or just made an honest mistake.  I'm not condoning crappy drivers by any means, but who among us has never crossed the fog line or accidentally pulled out in front of someone?  It happens.  We've all done it.  Relax.

We've had a lot of fun here, too.  Drunks are hilarious.  Not when they're behind the wheel, but later.  There are happy drunks, horny drunks, sad drunks, angry drunks and sometimes they just cycle through. We had a guy that barked like a dog every time someone asked him a question.  We had a kid that raised his arms like he was in a bank holdup the whole time he was in the holding cell.  Then he sat in the trash can and had to waddle like a duck because it was stuck to his butt.  That was fun.

You know you have been a dispatcher too long when...

9-1-1 Do's

Here are some useful (for me) do's for calling 9-1-1.  Hopefully, you'll never have a chance to use them.

Do's:

**  Do try to always have a your location, even if it's just a general area.  9-1-1 calls do not work they way they are portrayed on TV.  I've had a lot of people call in a panic, with absolutely no idea where they are.  They usually just scream at me to "Just f*****g trace it!"  It doesn't work that way.  There are PhaseI calls and PhaseII calls.  A PhaseI area can be the size of an entire county.  A PhaseII call is usually within a block or so, but even then, it will take officers a long time to find you.  If you're having a heart attack or someone has broken into your home, that might be time you don't have. 

**  Do be patient with us.  If you call 9-1-1 with a medical emergency, we have a lot of questions to ask.  We are all Emergency Medical Dispatch certified, meaning we can give CPR instructions, talk someone through childbirth or the Heimlich maneuver.  We gather as much info as we can to expedite the process.  We are in constant contact with the EMTs and doctors/nurses at the emergency room.  The more information they have, the better the outcome.  I'm sure it seems like we're wasting time, but we multi task.  We're experts at dispatching and asking questions at the same time.  Help is coming, even as the questions are being asked.  Please be patient and hang with us.

** Do stay on the line if you accidentally butt dial 9-1-1, or thought you had an emergency but changed your mind.  You're not in trouble and it's a whole lot easier for us if you're still on the line.  We will still send someone to check on you (it's policy) but it's easier if you're still there. 

** Do try to remain calm.  I know this is a tough one.  In a true emergency people panic.  Sometimes they just scream.  Sometimes they hyperventilate.  Sometimes they lock up.  It's understandable.  We're trained to calm down panicky people, but that takes valuable time.  Try, try, try as hard as you can to remain calm and clear headed.  The sooner we can get the information we need, the sooner you will get help. 

**  Do bring us cookies if we've done something to help you.  We like cookies.

9-1-1

April 12th-18th is National Telecommunicator's Week, and as a 9-1-1 dispatcher, I feel the need to toot my own horn.  No one else is going to do it, so it's up to me:)   It is not easy being a dispatcher.  It is a stressful, often under appreciated job.  I've had bad car accidents, house fires, dead babies, car chases.  I've also had plenty of days where I sit for eight solid hours and do absolutely nothing.   And I mean nothing.  We are a one-seater dispatcher center, only one dispatcher on at a time.  As such, I don't get any sort of a break.  I don't get a lunch hour, or fifteen minute breaks throughout the day.  Some days I don't get to eat and there are lots and lots of occasions I have to pee so bad I think I'm going to 'splode but I can't get to the bathroom.  But, as I said earlier, there are days where I watch eight hours of TV or Netflix or watch the crap out of cat videos on YouTube.  It all evens out.  I never know from one day to the next (or even one minute to the next) what kind of calls will come in.  I'll be happily watching my cat videos and then the proverbial shit hits the fan, and it can happen in a matter of seconds. 

All in all, I like my job.  It's not for everone.  I do have good days.  Days where it feels as if I helped someone, or made a difference, no matter how small.  I love days when I've helped someone, gotten them what they need and didn't screw it up.  That's a good day.  I think my biggest pet peeve is being forgotten.  I took a call once, a lady having a heart attack.  I sent everyone, police, ambulance, first responders.  Luckily, the lady survived (it was a legit heart attack.  AED was used on scene).  The family of the lady put a letter in our local newspaper thanking everyone for their efforts in saving her.  Everyone but me.  The dispatchers are never mentioned.  I've seen a lot of those letters and hardly anyone thinks of the dispatcher.   EMS, police, none of them would have been there if not for me.  We're used to being unsung heroes.  Thankful families will bring in cookies.  They'll mention each and every agency and person by name.....but the dispatcher:(  We understand why.  The public never sees the dispatcher.  They see the police and EMS.  So I do understand, but it still sucks. 

My job would be sooooo much easier if each and every member of the public could come to my office to see how it works.  The general public has no idea.  They really don't.  Even in my little town, I think the majority of people think 9-1-1 calls are forwarded to some gigantic call center in Utah or California.  Nope.  We're local people, too.  They don't understand how 9-1-1 works, why things happen the way they do.  So I think I'm going to come up with a "Do's and Don'ts" list.  We put these in the paper every so often, but it doesn't really seem to help.  I'm going to give it another shot, though.

My desk at work.  I cleaned it up because it usually has papers scattered all over.  And coffee cups.

Funny

My dad was sick for a few days, relatively serious stuff.  He was being transferred to St John's Hospital via ambulance, which is about three hours away.  As he was loaded into the ambulance, he looked at my mom and said (what she thought was) "Jesus".  So Mom nearly shits a brick and asks him again what he said.  "Jesus" is the reply.  By now she's nearly in a full blown panic, because we've all heard those super creepy stories where someone reaches out to a deceased loved one right at the moment of death.  So she leans way down and asks him one more time to repeat what he'd said.  "Cheez-its.  I want my Cheez-its." 

Mayor

My Dad was just elected to his third term as mayor!!!  Congratulations Mayor Daddy-o!!

This is my excited face. Sitting outside the courthouse.

Grandma

My mom fluffed and buffed my Grandma the other day. Doesn't she look pretty?

Derp

So Mom and I are on the way to the Blues game and she said her hands were dry so she digs out some lotion from her purse.  It's Jergen's gradual tan stuff, a little tube of it.

Me:: Why are you using gradual tanner on your hands?
Mom:: I'm not.
Me::   Yes, you are.
Mom:: (looks at tube)  Oh.  That's why my hands look funny.