Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Python
At work, I just never know who I'll be dealing with. Yesterday, it was a python. Apparently, he (or she) did a runner from his cage and took off. As fast as a python can, anyway. I took a couple of calls on him, stretched across a road. We think it's an adult ball python.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Tuesday
Hikes and walks have been absolutely beastly as of late. High temps, higher humidity. We went for a hike the other day and saw this cool spider web:
I love to learn things, and I've learned something about spider webs. Apparently, spider webs are spun between 5' and 5'10" off the ground. I know this because I'm 5'10" and I find all the spider webs with my face. It's impossible to see the stupid things and I walk right into them. I always feel bad because the poor fellers worked really hard on those. I don't want to tear them up so if they could put their webs just a little higher we'd all be happy.
I'm trying to cut down on artificial sweetener and diet sodas. I've limited myself to one a day, and so far I'm going pretty good. My new thing is lemon water with natural sweetener. I don't like anything sour so it's really just water with a tiny hint of lemon. Lemon is supposed to be good for you, all kinds of benefits. This is how I spent my morning:
An absolute must for hiking---Injinji socks. They're toe socks, which is a little weird, I admit. Some of my toes rub together and I get terrible blisters. These socks are a godsend. They're wool but they're not too hot and, best of all, my toes don't rub together. They're kind of pricey, which is the only downside. Fifteen dollars a pair, but well worth it.
I was folding laundry this morning and the cats were "helping", as they always do. I was playing with them and I threw a sock at Fats. He clapped his paws together and caught my sock in midair. I cheered for him and was thinking "Yo! My cat's a genius, yo!!!" So I threw another sock at him and this time it landed right across his eyes like a blindfold. He made absolutely no attempt to catch it or even knock it off of his face. So, I guess he's not a genius. Just a bog standard cat:)
I love to learn things, and I've learned something about spider webs. Apparently, spider webs are spun between 5' and 5'10" off the ground. I know this because I'm 5'10" and I find all the spider webs with my face. It's impossible to see the stupid things and I walk right into them. I always feel bad because the poor fellers worked really hard on those. I don't want to tear them up so if they could put their webs just a little higher we'd all be happy.
I'm trying to cut down on artificial sweetener and diet sodas. I've limited myself to one a day, and so far I'm going pretty good. My new thing is lemon water with natural sweetener. I don't like anything sour so it's really just water with a tiny hint of lemon. Lemon is supposed to be good for you, all kinds of benefits. This is how I spent my morning:
An absolute must for hiking---Injinji socks. They're toe socks, which is a little weird, I admit. Some of my toes rub together and I get terrible blisters. These socks are a godsend. They're wool but they're not too hot and, best of all, my toes don't rub together. They're kind of pricey, which is the only downside. Fifteen dollars a pair, but well worth it.
I was folding laundry this morning and the cats were "helping", as they always do. I was playing with them and I threw a sock at Fats. He clapped his paws together and caught my sock in midair. I cheered for him and was thinking "Yo! My cat's a genius, yo!!!" So I threw another sock at him and this time it landed right across his eyes like a blindfold. He made absolutely no attempt to catch it or even knock it off of his face. So, I guess he's not a genius. Just a bog standard cat:)
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Shadowboxes
Check out my new most coolest thing ever:
It's a shadow box I got from Hobby Lobby. I put a picture of what I want mostest in the world, cut a coin slot in the top and use it to save money. I'm so excited about it. Now, I know that a shadowbox isn't big enough to hold enough money for a European vacation, but it will hold enough for spending money. I have one for England ( Cotswolds ) and one for Scotland ( Loch Ness ).
It's a shadow box I got from Hobby Lobby. I put a picture of what I want mostest in the world, cut a coin slot in the top and use it to save money. I'm so excited about it. Now, I know that a shadowbox isn't big enough to hold enough money for a European vacation, but it will hold enough for spending money. I have one for England ( Cotswolds ) and one for Scotland ( Loch Ness ).
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Happenings
I finally got a whole two days off work. New girl is all trained up and on her own so I got a weekend. First one since April. I'd like to give thanks to the god of all things good and pure because it was awesome. I did nothing and it was awesome.
Sunday Mom and I took a ride to Fat Dad's and got a rainbow Diet Coke. It is so good. If you're ever in my neck of the woods you absolutely have to go to Fat Dad's. Totally worth it.
Baby Frank, God bless him, made me two super useful travel combs from the one useless full sized comb I had. I loved that comb. It's wood and hands down the best comb I've ever had. Now it's broken and I'm sad.
Someone at work got a new truck. I looked up on the monitor and it appeared that there were about half a dozen officers rubbing their wieners on it. Men are ridiculous.
Sunday Mom and I took a ride to Fat Dad's and got a rainbow Diet Coke. It is so good. If you're ever in my neck of the woods you absolutely have to go to Fat Dad's. Totally worth it.
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| Not much to look at, but their drinks are amazing! |
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| If you ever wanted to know what Illinois looks like---this is it:\ |
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| Wind blown hair and Fat Dad's deliciousness |
Baby Frank, God bless him, made me two super useful travel combs from the one useless full sized comb I had. I loved that comb. It's wood and hands down the best comb I've ever had. Now it's broken and I'm sad.
Someone at work got a new truck. I looked up on the monitor and it appeared that there were about half a dozen officers rubbing their wieners on it. Men are ridiculous.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Ladybugs
Sometimes I hate people. I really do. My mom was recently reading a book by an autistic man. He's about thirty now, but the book was reminiscing on his childhood. He calls himself a savant, as he is a mathematical genius. He figured out pi to twenty five decimal places, or something ridiculous. I honestly don't really even know what pi is, except math, and I got off the math bus a looooong time ago. Anyway, this man was telling a story that happened when he was about ten. He has fixations, as nearly all autistic children do. During this particular time, he was utterly obsessed with ladybugs. He was all about ladybugs. So much so that his mother bought him a special tub in which to keep them. He would collect dewy branches every day for them, and made sure they had plenty of aphids to eat. He loved his ladybugs.
His teacher was apparently sick of hearing about the ladybugs, so one day he asked this boy to bring them to class, as a show and tell project. You can probably imaging how excited he was. Once he got to class the teacher asked him to take a note to the principal's office, and while he was gone, he turned loose all of the ladybugs. Let them all go.
This poor kid was inconsolable. Absolutely inconsolable. Autistic children find comfort and security in all kinds of objects. Those ladybugs were his whole world, and the teacher (a male teacher) turned them all loose. He said he was afraid they'd get loose in the classroom. My lily white fanny.
If he were my child, I would have reigned down hell on that school, the likes of which they have never seen. It would be swift and it would be brutal. I can't even imagine. And the thing is, he eventually would have moved on to something else. That poor boy. It hurts me to think about what he must have felt when he came back into that classroom.
Parents put up with all kinds of annoying stuff from kids. Case in point, I was three and a half when my brother was born. For being a good girl (and to keep me occupied while my parents dealt with the new baby) they bought me a new toy. It was a Fisher Price ( I know I'm dating myself here ) record player. I'm not sure if the record came with it, or it was just the only one I had, but I was obsessed with "Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys. It's no exaggeration when I say that I listened to that song every waking minute. If I was awake, I was listening to Elvira. I couldn't even hazard a guess how many times my poor parents had to listen to that song.
But you know what they did? They listened to Elvira. Because it made me happy. Eventually, I moved on to something else, as I am no longer listening to Elvira around the clock. I do still like it, though. It's catchy.
Elvira, Elvira, my heart's on fire, for Elvira!
Giddy up-Oom Poppa-Oom Poppa-Mow Mow
Giddy up-Oom Poppa-Oom Poppa-Mow Mow
High-o Silver, Away!
His teacher was apparently sick of hearing about the ladybugs, so one day he asked this boy to bring them to class, as a show and tell project. You can probably imaging how excited he was. Once he got to class the teacher asked him to take a note to the principal's office, and while he was gone, he turned loose all of the ladybugs. Let them all go.
This poor kid was inconsolable. Absolutely inconsolable. Autistic children find comfort and security in all kinds of objects. Those ladybugs were his whole world, and the teacher (a male teacher) turned them all loose. He said he was afraid they'd get loose in the classroom. My lily white fanny.
If he were my child, I would have reigned down hell on that school, the likes of which they have never seen. It would be swift and it would be brutal. I can't even imagine. And the thing is, he eventually would have moved on to something else. That poor boy. It hurts me to think about what he must have felt when he came back into that classroom.
Parents put up with all kinds of annoying stuff from kids. Case in point, I was three and a half when my brother was born. For being a good girl (and to keep me occupied while my parents dealt with the new baby) they bought me a new toy. It was a Fisher Price ( I know I'm dating myself here ) record player. I'm not sure if the record came with it, or it was just the only one I had, but I was obsessed with "Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys. It's no exaggeration when I say that I listened to that song every waking minute. If I was awake, I was listening to Elvira. I couldn't even hazard a guess how many times my poor parents had to listen to that song.
But you know what they did? They listened to Elvira. Because it made me happy. Eventually, I moved on to something else, as I am no longer listening to Elvira around the clock. I do still like it, though. It's catchy.
Elvira, Elvira, my heart's on fire, for Elvira!
Giddy up-Oom Poppa-Oom Poppa-Mow Mow
Giddy up-Oom Poppa-Oom Poppa-Mow Mow
High-o Silver, Away!
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Gardens
My mom visits my grandma at the Gardens every day, sometimes twice. Lately, there seems to have been a shift in behaviors or cognition. It seems as if Grandma isn't really happy to see my mom anymore. She's happy to see her, but it fades quickly.
A day or two ago Mom went to see her and she was in the family room watching The Little Mermaid with some of the other residents. Grandma was glad to see her, but she didn't want to leave the room. She didn't want to go for a walk. She didn't want to go outside and sit at the table. She said the movie just started and she wanted to watch it, so Mom just left her to The Little Mermaid.
Is this a good thing? I think it's a good thing. Maybe. The nursing home has become her home. The other residents and staff are her family now. It's sad, and heart breaking for my mom, but in a way it's almost a relief. They are good to my grandma and she's happy there, for the most part. (She does NOT like bath day.) They do arts and crafts and some afternoons they bake cookies. Sometimes they blow up balloons the residents bat them around, trying to keep them in the air. She loves that one.
She's all but forgotton my mom, her sons, grandchildren. It's a good sad, if that is an actual feeling. My mom is sad that she's been replaced by the other residents and staff, but relieved, I think, that she's taken care of, to the point that Mom is no longer needed.
In a way, my grandma died the day she was put in the nursing home. That was the end of her life as she knew it, as we knew it. It was a death. She is still alive, of course, but it is different. She acts different. She doesn't even look like my grandma any more. I live three houses down from the nursing home and my mom walks grandma over a lot to see me and my cats (and to get out of the sun. Mom tries to tell me it's to see me, but I know better.) When they are walking past, I wouldn't even recognize Grandma if it weren't for Mom.
The grandma I knew growing up is gone. I loved going to her house when I was little because she had Count Chocula cereal. We weren't allowed to eat that stuff at home but we could have it at Grandma's. I couldn't wait to eat my cereal, which is weird, because I hated Count Chocula. It gets all soggy and gross and the marshmallows dissolve. It was more of what the cereal represented than my actual fondness. Yuck. And Grandma had the BEST jewelry. Tons of blingy, crappy jewelry. I could play with her jewelry box for hours. That grandma is gone. The lady sitting in a diaper is not my grandma. Looks kind of like her, though.
It's difficult trying to come to terms with how you feel about an elderly parent or grandparent. I still love her, of course, but admittedly not like I used to and that creates a lot of guilt. IT would be so easy to just pretend like she's not there and move on. I used to judge people who did that, but now I understand. I can't imagine, cannot imagine, what it would be like if my own mother was in that situation. It's incomprehensible.
A day or two ago Mom went to see her and she was in the family room watching The Little Mermaid with some of the other residents. Grandma was glad to see her, but she didn't want to leave the room. She didn't want to go for a walk. She didn't want to go outside and sit at the table. She said the movie just started and she wanted to watch it, so Mom just left her to The Little Mermaid.
Is this a good thing? I think it's a good thing. Maybe. The nursing home has become her home. The other residents and staff are her family now. It's sad, and heart breaking for my mom, but in a way it's almost a relief. They are good to my grandma and she's happy there, for the most part. (She does NOT like bath day.) They do arts and crafts and some afternoons they bake cookies. Sometimes they blow up balloons the residents bat them around, trying to keep them in the air. She loves that one.
She's all but forgotton my mom, her sons, grandchildren. It's a good sad, if that is an actual feeling. My mom is sad that she's been replaced by the other residents and staff, but relieved, I think, that she's taken care of, to the point that Mom is no longer needed.
In a way, my grandma died the day she was put in the nursing home. That was the end of her life as she knew it, as we knew it. It was a death. She is still alive, of course, but it is different. She acts different. She doesn't even look like my grandma any more. I live three houses down from the nursing home and my mom walks grandma over a lot to see me and my cats (and to get out of the sun. Mom tries to tell me it's to see me, but I know better.) When they are walking past, I wouldn't even recognize Grandma if it weren't for Mom.
The grandma I knew growing up is gone. I loved going to her house when I was little because she had Count Chocula cereal. We weren't allowed to eat that stuff at home but we could have it at Grandma's. I couldn't wait to eat my cereal, which is weird, because I hated Count Chocula. It gets all soggy and gross and the marshmallows dissolve. It was more of what the cereal represented than my actual fondness. Yuck. And Grandma had the BEST jewelry. Tons of blingy, crappy jewelry. I could play with her jewelry box for hours. That grandma is gone. The lady sitting in a diaper is not my grandma. Looks kind of like her, though.
It's difficult trying to come to terms with how you feel about an elderly parent or grandparent. I still love her, of course, but admittedly not like I used to and that creates a lot of guilt. IT would be so easy to just pretend like she's not there and move on. I used to judge people who did that, but now I understand. I can't imagine, cannot imagine, what it would be like if my own mother was in that situation. It's incomprehensible.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Pants
While I'm waiting on the kettle to boil, a short rant::
My pants, when washed, always come out if the washing machine with one leg right side out, one leg wrong side out. Every pair of pants, every time. Each time, I grab, with 100% certainty, the pant leg I need to turn my pants right side out. I'm wrong every....time. I always turn them completely inside out, and I know for a fact I grabbed the correct pant leg. I study it and I think "I've got you now, you piece of crap." Why does this happen?!?!
Tea's done.
My pants, when washed, always come out if the washing machine with one leg right side out, one leg wrong side out. Every pair of pants, every time. Each time, I grab, with 100% certainty, the pant leg I need to turn my pants right side out. I'm wrong every....time. I always turn them completely inside out, and I know for a fact I grabbed the correct pant leg. I study it and I think "I've got you now, you piece of crap." Why does this happen?!?!
Tea's done.
Fight
This is just a quick video of a Fat/Frank fight. It was dark, so there is only audio, but this is what it sounds like when Frank torments the hell out of poor Fatty. The one that you hear growling and hissing is Fatty. Frank isn't phased by it in the least.
Monday
I went for a walk with Barbie this morning. It's super hot out and the humidity is through the roof. But, being the dedicated little exerciser that I am, we went ahead and went for a walk. We made it halfway through one lap and she got diarrhea and I turned my ankle and fell in a ditch. We called it at the end of lap one. Sooooo, today wasn't off to the best start. At least the attempt was there. We should get full credit for the attempt and burn the same amount of calories as a full walk. Just sayin'.
This pretty much sums up how I felt about work today:
Frank has a new favorite activity. He goes in the bathroom and tears off teeny pieces of toilet paper and spits them out. It's huh-larious, thinks Frank. I disagree.
I ordered these new headbands the other day. I got them today and they are awesome. I'm a sweater and I hate getting sweat in my eyes. I may look ridiculous but at least I'll have sweat free eyes.
My big boy is doing so well. The last week or two he's been like the Fat of old. He's been talkative and active. It makes me happy to see him doing so well. He's still a lot thinner than he used to be, but he has been acting just like he did pre-diabetes (and pre-Frank).
This pretty much sums up how I felt about work today:
Frank has a new favorite activity. He goes in the bathroom and tears off teeny pieces of toilet paper and spits them out. It's huh-larious, thinks Frank. I disagree.
I ordered these new headbands the other day. I got them today and they are awesome. I'm a sweater and I hate getting sweat in my eyes. I may look ridiculous but at least I'll have sweat free eyes.
My big boy is doing so well. The last week or two he's been like the Fat of old. He's been talkative and active. It makes me happy to see him doing so well. He's still a lot thinner than he used to be, but he has been acting just like he did pre-diabetes (and pre-Frank).
Monday, July 6, 2015
Turtles
We saw these guys at the park. It's a little blurry since it's zoomed in, but there's a little bitty baby turtle on his mama's back. I love turtles.
Once, when I was little, my mom took my brother and I fishing at this very same lake. We'd been there for a few hours but hadn't had so much as a nibble. Just as we were leaving, defeated, i got a bite. I was soooo excited. I didn't catch a fish, but I had caught a little turtle. I begged and begged and Mom said I could keep it. I had an empty fish tank at home and I was going to set up the most pimp terrarium you've ever seen.
Alas, Turtle had swallowed the hook and we couldn't get it out. My Uncle Jack was fishing across the lake so Mom told me to take Turtle over to him to see if he could help. I skipped all the way around the lake and proudly showed Jack my new friend. I told him I needed help because Turtle had swallowed the hook. He took Turtle from me and said "Nothin' to do but cut off his head", pulled out a pocket knife and pfft, off came his head.
I flipped out and took off running for the car. I can still hear Mom yelling after me, asking what was wrong. I sat in the car, inconsolable over the loss of my beloved Turtle. I think Mom didn't believe me when I said Jack had cut off his head so we drove around to the other side to look for him. We found him, surely did, sans head and with a crushed shell.
I never talked to him after that.
R.I.P Turtle
Once, when I was little, my mom took my brother and I fishing at this very same lake. We'd been there for a few hours but hadn't had so much as a nibble. Just as we were leaving, defeated, i got a bite. I was soooo excited. I didn't catch a fish, but I had caught a little turtle. I begged and begged and Mom said I could keep it. I had an empty fish tank at home and I was going to set up the most pimp terrarium you've ever seen.
Alas, Turtle had swallowed the hook and we couldn't get it out. My Uncle Jack was fishing across the lake so Mom told me to take Turtle over to him to see if he could help. I skipped all the way around the lake and proudly showed Jack my new friend. I told him I needed help because Turtle had swallowed the hook. He took Turtle from me and said "Nothin' to do but cut off his head", pulled out a pocket knife and pfft, off came his head.
I flipped out and took off running for the car. I can still hear Mom yelling after me, asking what was wrong. I sat in the car, inconsolable over the loss of my beloved Turtle. I think Mom didn't believe me when I said Jack had cut off his head so we drove around to the other side to look for him. We found him, surely did, sans head and with a crushed shell.
I never talked to him after that.
R.I.P Turtle
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