Drag Racing

One fine spring day, when I still lived at home, I decided I needed to go to the store.  As I was driving north on a country road, I met my mom driving south.  She motioned for me to stop, as if she needed to speak with me.  So I turned around at the next intersection and she backed up to meet me.  So on this road we were both facing the same direction, just to give you a visual.

I talked to Mom for a minute, and then she gets this devilish gleam in her eye.  She gives me a sideways glance and says "You want to race?"  I'm surprised, yet intrigued.  "Of course", I says.  "Okay.  On the count of three we're going to race".  " You got it."  She counts to three and we both floor it.  And I mean, we FLOORED it.  Trouble was, her car was still in reverse.

I shot forward.  She shot backward.  I will never, if I live to be a hundred, forget the look on her face.  Her eyes were HUGE.  To this day I can't believe they didn't pop out of her head.  Her mouth made this tiny little "o" like she just sucked on a lemon.  She had the most surprised-est look I have ever seen on anybody.  Ever.  The time from start to finish could not have been more than two seconds, tops.  But it was the funniest two seconds of my life.  I really doubt that I will ever see anything funnier.

We weren't actually going to drag race home.  Just for a few seconds.  ( I was in a Pontiac Grand Am and she in a Jeep Liberty, so it wouldn't have been much of a race, anyway)  But when the race started, it was legit.  She wasn't doing it for a laugh, either.  She had completely forgotten that her car was in reverse.  We both goosed it, and she threw gravel.  Just headed the wrong direction, is all.