Shaming

Dawn and I were talking at work, yesterday, and she told me about something she'd read on Facebook that ruined my day.  I'm sure everyone but me has seen it (I don't have Facebook) but there were posts from a trainer in St Louis who was body shaming a woman who was watching the Cardinal's game.  She was an overweight woman and this guy spent the entire game watching what and how much she ate.  It was all over Facebook, to the point that she found out about it and posted a reply.  She called herself B and said that she had just lost 140 pounds.  She was finally able to attend a Cardinal's game because it was the first time she could fit into the seats. 

I did find a few articles about it, but never did see the original post.  For a long time, I wasn't even able to really comprehend what I was reading.  These two people don't know each other.  They had never laid eyes on the other.  B did not ask for his opinion.  I'm sure she was proud of her weight loss.  She was feeling good and probably so excited she finally got to go to a ball game.  Then that asshole makes fun of her for the duration.  Everyone eats nachos at a ball game.  Who doesn't eat nachos at a ball game??  I don't care how thin or overweight a person is, get all the nachos at the ball game!

He called her "unacceptable".  He said that society shouldn't have to put up with it.  Society shouldn't have to put up with a lady enjoying a baseball game on a nice spring day?  She was minding her own business, as he should have his. 

B was fully aware that she was overweight.  She had lost a great deal of weight, so clearly she is trying to live a healthier lifestyle.  Asshole still called her unacceptable, as if she should not be allowed out in public until she reaches some magic number on the scale.  Then, society as a whole, will welcome her with open arms.  Until then, apparently she should live chained up in an attic, to be fed a bucket of fish heads once a week.  She has value, overweight or not.  She is a human being, with a family who loves her.  She has hobbies, interests, a job.  She's clearly an awesome person because she's a Cardinals fan.  To say that she is unacceptable as a person simply because she is overweight is sickening. 

That guy is an absolute turd.  But he's a thin turd.  He would rather live in a society filled with hateful, ignorant assholes rather than smart, kind, overweight women? 

He doesn't know her story.  She could have medical issues.  She could have emotional issues.  She could simply like to eat.  Bottom line is---IT IS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.  She could have weighed a metric ton and shoved nachos in with both hands.  Regardless of the cause, his opinion was neither asked nor needed.   That woman shouldn't concern him in the least.  How she chooses to live her life is not his business.  It is hers, and hers alone.  He said we, as a society, need to start having frank conversations about obesity.  I agree, in part, but we need to have these conversations with physicians and licensed therapists, not ignorant (and probably drunk) "trainers" behind us at a baseball game.

It has probably taken her a long time to lose 140 pounds.  That doesn't happen overnight.  She is doing exactly what she should be doing in the mean time--living her life.  She can't put her life on hold and hide until the excess weight is gone.  She still has to live, and that includes baseball games.  She was just trying to enjoy her day, not knowing what was going on behind her.  Frankly, I find it extremely unsettling that he was paying that much attention to her.  I don't pay that much attention to anyone.  I look at someone and I think "Oh, I like her top" or "I wish my hair was that thick."  If I see someone overweight with a giant plate of nachos I don't think they s/he is a blight on our society.  All I think is "Holy crap!  Where did she get those nachos?!?!" 

That guy was a bully, plain and simple.  In no shape or form did he try to offer encouragement or even constructive criticism.  His intent was to make her feel like shit.  Ashamed.  Hopefully it didn't work.  Her response to him was excellent and I hope she meant it.  The sad part is, it still hurt.  If everyone else in the world, the entire population of the world, wrote a letter of support to her, it would not be enough to outweigh the damage caused by one moron.  I can't imagine what that must have been like for her.  I really can't.  To see yourself (unknowingly) splashed all over social media simply for being overweight. 

I sincerely hope that she is able to continue on with her weight loss journey, and realize that the rest of us are rooting for her.  We're on her side.  He was completely and unequivocally in the wrong and I really want her to understand that.  I want her to go on and live a long and happy life.  I want him to get hit by a truck.